About a year or so ago I had this "amazing" thought that it would be a good idea to have a week of truth (this idea may or may not have been inspired by Yes Man) where I would answer any question I was asked with complete honesty for the entirety of the the week and to the satisfaction of the inquisitor. That was scrapped rather quickly upon the realization that it was just way of (arrogantly) declaring how honest I have the capability of being.
This was all sprouted from the idea that honesty is a virtue but I'm not so sure about that these days. I've found it just as double-edged as anything else you can swing. The most hurtful things I've ever said to people were cut with the dagger of honesty so I have a hard time believing that it's the end-all, be-all.
Am I missing something? Those that stand behind honesty's banner seem so sure of it, but to me it just seems like an excuse to say all the things that don't need to be heard.
1 comment:
Well along with accountability, honesty has joined me in my journey to discover the greenest grasses. I've noticed a clarity it gives as I no longer need to concoct deceptions or uphold the ones I have laid upon the ground. For everyday encounters with people it serves me well as I don't feel like I have anything to hide. I like to think I'm the kind of person who if you ask a straight direct question you will receive the truth in kind. Divulging truth on my own whim is something else which I should have less issues with, but not so important for this discussion.
Where I think your policy may be failing you is with well executed tact and/or the receiver being able to understand the motives behind what you are trying to say. WIth honesty concocting deceptions is swapped with maneuvering tact. The cold hard truth is exactly that. It gets to the point quickly without accounting for emotions. So unless it is your intention to hurt them the results of honestly should build one up rather than tear one down.
The truth can hurt because it is real and it means something. Maybe this is more of where you were going in that just because it is the truth it doesn't mean it is worth saying. That doesn't mean you have to lie either. In the end I usually come to the conclusion that whatever I say can lead a person to believe who I am/claim/want to be or it can bear false witness to myself.
With that said, I've struggled recently with upholding honesty as I have felt quite cold in some of my relationships with others. A kind of self inflicted separation seems to be sprouting up somewhere. Like a kite with no string. I think it may have to do with something along the lines of taking people or things for granted. Again, I digress.
I really need to finish my hdub though and this day has been filled with sleepy brain and distractions. Wish me luck!
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