Dear N,
I want you to know that I get it now. I actually have for some time and it hurts my heart to know what that means for you. It frustrates me to no end that I don't get to hold your hand through this and knowing that it's my own damn fault. You know how openly I love and you are certainly no exception but they've fixed up the dam and it's running as smoothly as it ever did. We can't have anybody else drowning now, can we?
I get it and realize that you will not shatter beneath the strain of this and that my place is not beside you in this. That is what I admire about you. You've never needed that and probably never will. If you wanted it though, well, that would be a different story altogether but I'm not really any good at writing those anymore.
-P
