I'm not going to aplologize

This past Friday I was confronted (rather unexpectedly, I might add) by the idea of honour and how it doesn't necessarily fit into my current list of motivations. I will probably lie, cheat, and steal (well, maybe not probably cheat but i don't think I'm going to remove that from my vocabulary just yet) in order to hedge my bets. That I can actually come to terms with, I'm human and am allowed character flaws (if that's what you want to call them). Probably more unexpected, however, is the idea that I don't think I'm sorry about these "lapses in morality". I'm self-motivated and I'm not going to apologize for that. Whether I'm forgiven for that, I've decided, isn't really up to me. If I'm not, I probably don't deserve it (say what you will about the nature of forgiveness, being self-motivated for the time being, I'm not going to listen). This is a warning. Hide your babies and lock up your cutlery. It's going to get worse before it gets better.