I've decided to give myself something else to concentrate on other than the random murmurings of the clinically insane, insanity which may actually be contagious only not in the usual ways. I'm going to begin writing open letters to people. I think it will be a good experience for me and if you feel like gathering some semblance of enlightenment from them then all the better. Don't fear one of them getting around to you, I'll be plucking names from my "random generator" and I'm quite confident that everybody's going to get hit eventually.
Dearest K,
Of course it hurts. It always did and I imagine it always will because I love you. I think it hurts the most because I'm pretty sure you don't realize how far down that love goes. It's turtles all the way down.
I don't think things are going to work out properly between us, which isn't to say that they aren't going to work out the way they should, which I really do believe. I just know that it's going to be awkward bending the paperclips back into shape after we're finished messing with them. And we're not finished, not by any stretch of the imagination.
I can hear you fading from miles away. It's sad but it's necessary. The world will be different because it needs to be. Just as we are meant to be, we are not meant to be. I will not wait for you but I will not be gone. I would say I will miss you but I'm not sure we've ever met. What I am sure of is that I love you, I wish you could trust that
-P
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